I did not make it the full length of camp. Part of me feels like such a failure, another part feels like, "Wow, I made it 5 days with 4 kids in a different environment all by myself" We'll just have to see which side will eventually win out.
I am dealing with an issue I have. I have troubles asking for help or accepting help. It's not that I think I can just do it on my own, it's more of the matter that I hate to burden anyone else with my responsibilities. I'm not sure if I am being prideful in these situations or not. That is the last thing I want but for some reason, if someone else is helping me with my children, or loading up my vehicle, I get extremely stressed and feel incredibly guilty. I think I need to work on this allot! My pastors wife once told me that if someone offers to do something, it means that they really want to do it and that you should take them up on there offer. How do I let go of my anxiety? How do I hand over my responsibilities, even if it will truly help me out? God is definitely working in my heart and giving me allot to think about. I know He has the answers and that I just need to close my eyes, open my heart and let Him take over.
The kids and I are really glad to be home. They slept until 9:30 the first morning home, and 8:30 the second morning. Caleb seems to have some allergy issues that came home from camp but is still his cute little self. We celebrated his 1 year birthday when we got home. What a year it has been. Full of ups and downs and full of every emotion imaginable. It was such a growing year for me, spiritually, and God continues to help me grow as a mother and a spouse. So thankful for His everlasting love and grace. That is what keeps me going day by day and hour by hour. I can't imagine living a life with no hope, nothing to keep you going. My kids do that some as does my husband, but sometimes they also bring me down. God is always there to pick me up and remind me of the gift that He gave to me that will last a lifetime.
